5 questions
One of the loneliest, darkest and most unsettling places to be is in the middle of a transformation. It's that in between place of understanding that where you have been doesn't work for you anymore yet you have no clue how to get to where you want to be. It's that space where you have a clear image of an old habit or pattern that has been diminishing your life and you want out of the hamster wheel of it BUT you have no clue how to create a attitude or belief that will bring you peace and all that you really want.
I get it. I've been through (and am going through) many transformations. Living abroad to reverse culture shock, marriage to divorce, motherhood, loss of loved ones, etc. At 37, I am starting to realize that the quality of the questions I ask myself during a transformation have the power to ground me, clear my train wreck thoughts and open my mind up to divine possibilities I wouldn't have considered in my former state of being.
Examples of questions you can start pondering if you are in the midst of major transformation:
What brings me comfort?
(Sounds, tastes, sight, touch, scents that soothe your nervous system and put you back in your body)
What am I feeling and where is it in my body?
(Anger, sadness, fear, disgust? Is it sitting in my jaw, chest? Be with it, acknowledge it. Let it move through you. The feeling has a message. The pain will dissipate.)
Who or what makes me laugh?
(A comedian, friend, tv show that brings out a belly laugh. Make time for it. Laughing is freeing. It opens up your heart and mind.)
What do I want to feel more of moving forward?
(What is the future you feeling in love, career, finance, friendship? Certainty, flow, joy? Clarify your desired state so you know where you are headed.)
How does it get any better than this?
(This question [from Access Consciousness] is something to send out to Source/Universe/God regarding your particular situation and that's it. Let the answer come to you.)
What am I doing right, right now?
(I love this question from Matt Kahn. Even if it's just breathing. Give yourself credit for what is good and right, right now.)
Asking yourself these soothing questions in the midst of darkness and confusion creates space for your former self to be processed and better understood and even more space for more of you, your true essence, to bloom.
Book recommendations for your transformation:
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
by Pema Chödrön
Whatever Arises, Love That by Matt Kahn
Being You, Changing the World by Dr Dain Heer
